The short answer is yes. But not necessarily your whole pension.

Whatever portion of your pension built up during your relationship is considered a family asset. That means it gets divided equally just like other assets such as the house or the RRSPs.

There are three situations where your pension doesn’t need to be shared:

• It all accumulated before the relationship started — including before you moved in together
• It all accumulated after your separation date
• You and your ex reach an agreement that says otherwise

Outside of these, equal division is the default.

The good news is that most pensions are straightforward to divide. Your pension administrator handles the mechanics, and the process is usually much simpler than people expect.

Some types of pensions are not easily split, in which case you would typically compensate your ex for half the value of whatever accrued during the relationship, rather than dividing the pension itself.

The pension division rules above apply whether you were married or common-law (as long as your common-law relationship was at least two years.

Though the rules governing the division of pensions are straightforward, pensions can be difficult for emotional reasons. Some people feel an attachment to their pension. They may feel that they earned it and it should be their own. However, a fundamental fact of family law is that unless the spouses agree otherwise, assets and debts accumulated during the relationship are divided evenly no matter which spouse’s name the asset or debt is under.

If you really want to keep 100% of your pension, you will need to offer something of equivalent value in return. That typically means getting a professional (usually an actuary) to put a reliable number on your spouse’s share of the pension. Then you negotiate a trade. For example, if your spouse wants to keep the family home and buy out your share, you might agree that they pay you less in exchange for you keeping your full pension. This is a legitimate path, and sometimes the right one for both parties. It just requires some careful number-crunching to make sure the trade is genuinely fair.

Dividing a pension can feel daunting, especially when something you spent years building is going to be split. But keeping the big picture in mind helps. The goal isn’t to win but to reach an overall outcome that is fair to both of you, so you can move forward.